ok this is gonna sound dumb but bear with me
I write a lot for work, marketing/copy stuff mostly, and over the last ~14 months ive slid from "use AI to clean up my draft" to "use AI to make the draft" to honestly not really writing anything on my own anymore. like i hadnt put a complete thought on paper without a model in the loop for months. didnt even notice it happening tbh.
last weekend i tried to write a journal entry. just for me, no audience. nothing fancy. sat there for like 20 minutes trying to remember how to start a sentence that didnt have a thesis at the front of it.
i kept wanting to write "Today I noticed three things about my mood." and then realising — wait, no, thats a chatgpt sentence. nobody writes that. but i couldnt remember the person-version. eventually wrote some half-garbage about being tired and what i ate and a weird thing my sister said about her landlord. it read like a 12 year olds diary which, fine, i guess thats what a journal is supposed to be
but the embarassing part. i had to physically stop my hand from opening the chat app to "help with the wording". my brain was treating writing like a thing AI does, not a thing i do. felt like reaching for a phantom limb.
idk man. anyone else fine until they try to write something with no audience? like the second the audience disappears the chatgpt brain pattern is whats left underneath?
not really asking for advice or anything. just wanted to say it out loud somewhere
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